Neurodiversity-affirming therapy in Denver, Colorado
Lily Duffy, LCSW
For neurodivergent adults who want to find peace & heal from chronic shame and self-criticism
Online therapy in Colorado for high masking, late-identified neurodivergent adults who want to make peace with themselves, strengthen self-trust, and feel grounded & empowered in their identities
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Can you relate to this?
You feel worn down by self-criticism, shame, and a sense that you’re both too much and not enough
There’s a tendency to second-guess and doubt yourself, which leaves you feeling exhausted and powerless
You’re prone to overthinking and overanalyzing, leading you to feel depleted and numb (yet somehow still anxious)
You get overwhelmed often, leading to shame spirals where you criticize yourself for being “too sensitive”
You have a vivid imagination and inner world, but it can feel safer to live in your fantasies than to be present with yourself
You have a strong moral compass—justice, fairness, equality, equity, and truth are highly important to you
You often feel lonely and misunderstood, like an outsider who doesn’t belong. Even in close relationships, it can feel hard to show up as your full, authentic self
You find yourself people-pleasing and avoiding conflict, leaving your own needs chronically unmet. You may have relationships that feel toxic, shallow, one-sided, or unfulfilling
From the outside it looks like you’ve got it together, but on the inside you’re crumbling
You’re exhausted from masking at work, school, the grocery store, in your relationships, etc., and it often doesn’t feel safe for you to unmask
You feel embarrassed and ashamed of your problems—you tell yourself you should have them figured out by now
You long to feel more connected to yourself and others, even if parts of you feel afraid
You may identify as sensory neurodivergent (Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), Gifted, 2e/Twice Exceptional, PDA, etc.), or you might be considering/wondering whether you’re neurodivergent
You may have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or another personality disorder in the past, but you’ve questioned whether this diagnosis is accurate, as it seems to miss important elements of who you are and how you experience the world
You’ve felt misunderstood, invalidated, or dismissed by other therapists or providers you’ve worked with
You desperately want to trust and accept yourself, but it feels dangerous (and maybe even impossible)
You’re overwhelmed and exhausted from living this way
Like you, my clients are sensitive, creative, intelligent, self-aware, and empathic folks who work hard to show up well in all areas of their lives. But the toll it takes is getting to be too much. When clients first come to see me, they often feel like their own worst enemy, constantly doubting and criticizing themselves. No matter how hard they work or how much they accomplish, it never feels like enough. They often feel deeply exhausted or burnt out and may notice an increase in sensitivity or irritability, numbness, trouble remembering and thinking clearly, or a reduced ability to complete basic self-care and/or daily tasks.
Deep down, they know that no amount of outward success or approval from others will make them feel whole and worthy, but they have a hard time imagining what could help them to get there. Despite their self-awareness, my clients also feel an inner disconnect, as if there are parts of themselves they don’t fully know or understand. They long to feel more connected, but they also fear what might be uncovered if they explore those parts more deeply. Some also come to therapy with a sense that past experiences and relationships are impacting them in the present, leading to feelings of being broken, defective, on-edge, alone, bad, or unlovable.
More than anything, my clients want to trust themselves, feel more confident and less overwhelmed, and be better able to manage painful/difficult feelings when they come up.
Sound like you? I’ve been there, and I can help
Hi, I’m Lily (they/them), a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Colorado. I’m a therapist and AuDHDer who helps high-masking and late-identified* neurodivergent adults make peace with themselves, strengthen self-trust, and learn to honor their deep-feeling nature so they can reduce overwhelm, cultivate joy, and feel more connected to themselves and others.
One of the most painful aspects of living with shame and constant self-criticism is the sense of loneliness and isolation it can bring. This is something I’ve struggled with myself, and I know firsthand that finding the right support can make all the difference as we work through it. If you’re feeling ready to transform your relationship to yourself, others, and the world, I’d be honored to help you get there.
*Yes, self-identification is just as valid as a professional diagnosis!
How would your life shift if you learned to give yourself the care and compassion you need?
I can help you to:
Heal your relationship with your inner critic so you no longer feel beaten down and exhausted
Unburden the shame you’ve been saddled with as neurodivergent human trying to survive in a world that wasn’t built for you
Unearth deeply-rooted self-trust and confidence that can’t be taken away (spoiler: it’s actually been there all along, but parts of you cut off access to it when they learned that trusting yourself wasn’t safe)
Get to know and befriend different parts of yourself, become more connected to your intuition
Effectively tend to yourself when you're triggered, in pain, or caught in a pattern that isn’t working/doesn’t feel good
Learn to ask for what you want and need, set boundaries with others, find friends who you can be your full and unapologetic self around
Transform your relationship to masking so you’re not constantly depleted or stuck in burnout
Feel more rooted and grounded in yourself, learn to embrace your sensitivity and unique neurotype
Build a life that honors and accommodates your neurodivergence, reduces overwhelm, & allows you to funnel your limited time and energy into the things that matter most to you (rather than the things that society tells you should matter)